How To Not Be A Simp: A Step-to-step Guide

What makes a person a Simp? How should you feel when being called like that? How to not be a Simp? And how to have a healthier relationship if you were a Simp?

If you use social networks, then chances are you’ve come across the word “Simp.” Do you know what it means or why certain people get labelled as Simp?

Simp is not a cool nickname. It is believed to stand for “Sucker Idolizing Mediocre P*ssy”. If you are clinging too much to a girl, then maybe you are a walking example of a Simp.

As it is not cool to be called a Simp, let Jobandedu guide you to avoid that. Becoming not-a-Simp will help you to have a healthy relationship without becoming a sucker for love.

How To Not Be A Simp: A Step-to-step Guide
It is not cool to be called a Simp – Source: Kristina Tripkovic

What Makes A Person A Simp?

How can you identify a Simp? By definition, in various slang and urban dictionaries, Simp is someone (a man usually) who tries to do too much for another person (usually a girl). Can girls be Simps? Yes, girls can be Simps for the ones they like. Yet it doesn’t mean that she’s a Bad B*tch! Two norms mean different!

A Simp does silly things to impress others. It can be blindly praising a girl and not being able to give any criticism. A Simp can be too obedient to girls as if they were his mom. On top of that, Simps invest too much in a relationship and can be easily manipulated by a girl. They’re thirsty for connection by trying to call the crush so cute repeatedly or send her countless emotional letters, making that girl overwhelmed and wanna run for the hills on the spot.

The Simp-ish action can stem from good intentions or just because they are trying to get laid with the girl later. However, their moves tend to fail or end badly. A guy running errands for a girl to get her phone number, maybe? Simp! A boyfriend does everything for his girlfriend while she doesn’t know his hobbies? Simp!

Multiple influencers make videos to illustrate when an action can make one a Simp. Youtuber PewDiePie said in his Simp-meme-revived video. “If you are shaking just by the thought of a girl being criticized, I got bad news for you. You’re a Simp, and nothing else.” Check out the video right below and see what makes one a Simp.

NEVER call me a SIMP! [MEME REVIEW] ? ?#76

Here is a recap of nine signs that can make you a Simp from TikToker NoChillTy:

  • Always do their best for a person that doesn’t like them.
  • Where’s my hug at?
  • Always try to impress other girls.
  • Will put girls’ safety over theirs.
  • Will defend a girl just to get attention.
  • Always be overprotective towards girls.
  • Let girls walk on them. 
  • Getting curved constantly.
  • Has no game plan when coming to females and only tries to impress others by doing anything for them.

How should you feel when being called a Simp?

Today, the word Simp is widely used as a meme, or a joke, so just laugh it out. Many actions that validate girls can potentially make a friend call you Simp. If your friends simply mean to crack some jokes, no need to feel bad about it. It can just mean that you are just a nice guy.

How should you feel when being called a Simp?
If your friends call you Simp to crack  jokes, just laugh it out – Source:

However, if too many called you a Simp, or your close friend asked you to stop your Simp-ish behaviors, then it’s time to panic. Because when you think of it, being a Simp is bad news. The word Simp hints that you are a sucker for love.

 A Simp should feel bad as he rarely gets the girl. They usually get ignored by their crush while begging for attention. Even worse, when a girl decides to date a Simp, she may only try to take advantage of him.

 If any Sim-ish actions describe yourself, you had better change for the better. Being a Simp does no good for your life or relationship. But how to do that? 

How To Not Become A Simp?

Firstly, Don’t Seek Validation, Be Confident Instead.

Having others’ approval is nice, but you must have high self-respect to get it. How to not be a Simp? Don’t just care about others too much and bend to their will. Many Simps do anything to get attention from girls. Yet, girls are more attracted to men who are competent and sure of themselves.

Firstly, Don't Seek Validation, Be Confident Instead.
Girls are more attracted to men who are competent and sure of themselves. – Source: Tamarcus Brown

One effective way to boost your confidence is by giving yourself pep-talks using only affirmations. These sentences such as “I am strong” can empower you gradually and make you a stronger person. The theory behind this method is that you train your brain to believe in these statements by listening to them day by day.

Here are some Not-to-be-a-Simp affirmations for you:

  • “I deserve a healthy relationship.”
  • Or “I am attractive.”
  • “I have a great personality.”
  • Or “I am confident.”
  • “I can draw the right people into my life.”

Secondly, Don’t Be Available All The Time.

A Simp can always make time for the person they like, to the point that it seems like he has all the time in the world. They would stop whatever they are doing to help the girl. That is depressing to look at, to be honest.

Secondly, Don't Be Available All The Time.
Don’t be available all the time – Source: Veri Ivanova

If you come every time she calls, it implies that you have nothing more important or exciting than that girl, which makes you less desirable. A girl desires what is rare, like a diamond, not something that’s always around her. If you spend too much time with a girl, would she still cherish your appearance?

How to not be a Simp? It would help if you spent adequate time for your own life to make a relationship work. Just spend time on your work or other plans with your lads, hobbies, not just cut them short for a girl. You will have more stories to tell and become a more interesting person that girls find attractive.

 If the girl cares about you, she would understand if you can’t show up every time she calls. She will appreciate that you do take your job and stuff seriously. If she simply doesn’t care and just wants to exploit you, then you’d better stop the toxic relationship.

Thirdly, Stop Trying Too Hard To Attract One’s Attention. 

A Simp probably learns their moves from many “love gurus” online or thousands of dating-advice videos to improve their look, posture, actions, and body language. We’ve all been there as everyone wants to be more attractive. It’s good for you at some levels, but don’t try too hard.

Thirdly, Stop Trying Too Hard To Attract One's Attention.
Stop trying too hard to attract one’s attention – Source: Viktor Krč

Trying too hard to apply knowledge to your relationship might backfire later. You can act as a mister perfect, which can be tiring, but not everyone would fall for that. Even if they do, would they stay if you’re just merely an actor?

Just be yourself to get a girl. There is no point in tricking someone into liking you by acting differently from your original version. Don’t try to bombard someone with cheesy words or anything similar found online. Please continue to become better every day, but don’t lose your authenticity.

How to have a healthier relationship if you were a Simp?

Be Strong

You will need to keep calm when your crush asks you to do something for a healthy and balanced relationship. Girls sometimes try to take advantage of their boyfriend, or at least from whoever is falling for them. Boys seem to like the girls who laugh at anything. So, a girl can do this to make you more into her and willing to do anything for her. If you tend to fall for a girl’s laugh, she might get used to getting help, and you will suffer eventually, as a Simp.

Be Strong
Don’t always fall for girls who laugh at anything – Source: Priscilla Du Preez

You need to be strong and restrain the urge to help the girl when she says, “Can you do me a favor <3?”. She is not a damsel in distress, which means there’s no need to care for her too much. If her request is too trivial or you are busy, say no politely. Just help her when she really needs it.

Do Set Boundaries

Boundaries are essential when it comes to a relationship, for the girls and also for yourself. You need to know when to stop trying to get the girl. For example, you should let go when she asks for too much yet call you her good friend. This scenario is likely to happen to many Simps as they allow the girl to do that.

Do Set Boundaries
Do set boundaries – Source: Shawnee D

A girl might hit on another guy and still ask you to give a lift now and then, as you may be a Simp. When this happens, you can tell her to stop or leave her if nothing changes.

Talk To Each Other

A relationship only thrives when two people share information, not just by giving too much care from one side. Ask about the girl’s experience, show her that you are interested in her life. The girl would ask you back and listen to you if she cares.

Talk To Each Other
Talk to each other – Source: Priscilla Du Preez

Besides, it would be best if you were honest with your feelings. If you don’t feel right about anything, let your girl know. Guys rarely stand up for themselves in a relationship, but when you know you’re right, you need to do it for your own sake. For example, a girl might be a gold digger, and you just cannot say no to her. You must let her know when things get too serious.

In a relationship, red and yellow flags are worth setting your eyes on. When a girl is so mean to you, calm down and think through the root causes.

How Not To Be A Simp – Conclusion 

A Simp is not simply a nice guy, but someone sacrificing his own life for a person who might not even like him. So, if you are paying too much attention to someone and neglect your own private life, you may be a Simp. Hopefully, by College Life‘s tips and bits of advice, you can stop this phase of being a Simp and get the relationship you deserve.

Emmanuel Davies

Most of Emmanuel Davies's professional life has been spent in education. Early in the year 2020, he teamed up with JobandEdu, getting a career counselor writer role and contributing such as career overview, employment counseling, and workplace culture. Davies has deep expertise in the academic and career advisor position gained via past roles at diverse establishments and foundations. Consequently, he plans to use writing to disseminate his knowledge and counsel to the masses.